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Every Castle, Ranked

Intiman cabaret presents

Every Castle, Ranked

Co-created by Lindy West & Ahamefule J. Oluo – Performed by Lindy West
Directed by Ahamefule J. Oluo

Mar 25 – Mar 28, 2027
Erickson Theatre, 1524 Harvard Ave, Seattle, WA 98122
Run time: 1hr 20mins, including one intermission

A castle is the ultimate “expectation vs. reality” meme. Like a lot of kids, Lindy West grew up dreaming of castles and princes, of a magic beyond everyday life. But reality has a way of grinding the fantasy out of you. Pets and parents die, dreams get downsized, and it turns out castles aren’t magical at all—they’re just wet, stinking military installations built to fortify the immoral power of horrible men. Outrageous! In Every Castle, Ranked, a now 40-something Lindy takes us on a hilarious, bittersweet journey through her own disillusionment, finding hope again at 40, and the history of toilets.

About the Play

Lindy West’s Every Castle, Ranked is a sharp, funny, multimedia one-woman show that turns a seemingly simple premise into something sprawling and reflective.

A totally entertaining and original writer… I dare you to feel differently.”

Ira Glass, This American Life

West ranks castles from worst to best in a slideshow-driven performance, complete with images, visual aids, and interstitial video content, leaning fully into a playful, essayistic style that blends comedy with cultural critique.

The idea itself, West explains, came from a long-held joke title—something she once imagined could become a travel-funded book project. “What if I could sell this as a book and have my publisher fly me all over the world to look at castles?” she recalls, before acknowledging the reality that no one was going to fund that fantasy.

Still, the title stuck because it captured something essential to her sensibility: humor that exposes the gap between dream and reality.

That gap is the emotional core of the show. Castles, as West frames them, are the ultimate “expectation vs. reality” symbol—childhood visions of magic and romance colliding with the truth of history: damp, militarized structures tied to power and violence. In Every Castle, Ranked, West uses that tension to build a hilarious and bittersweet journey through disillusionment, adulthood, and the strange ways hope reappears later in life, even in the most unexpected places.

That gap is the emotional core of the show. Castles, as West frames them, are the ultimate “expectation vs. reality” symbol—childhood visions of magic and romance colliding with the truth of history: damp, militarized structures tied to power and violence. In Every Castle, Ranked, West uses that tension to build a hilarious and bittersweet journey through disillusionment, adulthood, and the strange ways hope reappears later in life, even in the most unexpected places.

For fans of...

Meet the Creative Team

Lindy West is the author of The New York Times bestselling memoir Shrill and essay collections The Witches Are Coming and Shit, Actually. Her national bestselling memoir, Adult Braces, was released in Spring 2026. Her work has appeared in This American Life, The New York Times, The Guardian, Cosmopolitan, GQ, Vulture, and Jezebel. She co-hosts the podcast Text Me Back, writes a humorous Substack newsletter called Butt News, and is co-founder of reproductive rights campaign #ShoutYourAbortion.

Lindy was a writer and executive producer on Shrill, the Hulu comedy adapted from her memoir starring Aidy Bryant. She co-wrote and produced the film Thin Skin, available on Amazon Prime. Her solo stage show, Every Castle, Ranked, has toured since 2023.

Ahamefule J. Oluo (they/them) is a multi-instrumentalist, composer, writer, comedian, and creator of live performance. They co-founded renowned experimental jazz quartet Industrial Revelation. They have been supported by Mellon Foundation, Creative Capital, MAP Fund, Foundation for Contemporary Arts, Mid Atlantic Arts Foundation, and Artist Trust.

Oluo premiered Now I’m Fine (2016) and Susan (2020) at The Public Theater’s Under the Radar Festival, both acclaimed by The New York Times. They wrote, scored, and starred in the film Thin Skin; appeared on This American Life; produced comedy albums by Hari Kondabolu and Dwayne Kennedy, and wrote for HBO Max’s Santa Inc. They have presented their work at festivals and theaters nationally and internationally and held residencies at MacDowell and Yaddo. Their 2024 stage show, The Things Around Us, has toured throughout the US and UK.

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